Nothing in nature blooms all year round.
Why do you expect yourself to be so different?
Just like a workout, the real growth comes from the time you take to rest. You get stronger from the recovery not pushing yourself to the limit every day.
Yet most of us do just that. Falling victim to all or nothing thinking, it’s easy to think that anything less than 100% or perfection doesn’t count.
You need to slow down, even stop, and embrace yourself as a Work In Progress. You need to take a pause to let yourself recover and regroup. Autumn is the perfect time go within and shed what no longer serves you. It’s time to work on your mental game and nurture your growth mindset.
Over the last several weeks we’ve talked about resilience and it was one of the main topics at my last Refill Your Cup retreat. Resilience is a necessary ingredient for finding your Middle Ground and rejecting all or nothing thinking. Resilience can be cultivated in many ways but it often comes down to one simple thing: a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset.
If you have a fixed mindset (this is how it will always be, I can’t change, this is just who I am) then you won’t be able to move forward in any aspect of your life. A growth mindset (if I work hard and be consistent things can and will change) means changing the meaning of failure and how you define success. The real learning (and win) isn’t necessarily in the goal; it’s in the actions you take and what you learn from the process.
We usually associate growth with spring and the reawakening of the earth from a winter slumber. I think fall is actually a perfect time to work on personal growth because it encourages you to slow down a bit. The shorter days and cooler temperatures make it easier to stay inside planning and journaling with a cozy cup of tea. You’re favorite chair and blanket welcome you and a good book.
How do you develop a growth mindset if it doesn’t come naturally?
Just like any skill it takes the right balance of knowledge and practice. I’ve got a great list of books to help you understand how you can start shifting your perspective. Whether you download them to your Kindle, listen to them on your walk or check out a good old-fashioned paperback from the library, these books will give you a new perspective on change, failure and growth. I’ve divided the list into three parts based on how you might want to read them but feel free to do them your way.
Audio books for a growth mindset
- Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck Ph.D.
- Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff Ph.D.
- Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg
Finish in a day books for a growth mindset
- Making Space: Creating a Home Meditation Practice by Thich Nhat Hanh
- When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron
- Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Books to read a bit and pause a bit
- Life Reimagined: The Science, Art and Opportunity of Midlife by Barbara Bradley Hagerty
- Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead by Brene Brown Ph.D. LMSW
- True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart by Tara Brach Ph.D.
These books will give you more than enough to think about and work with. Then the practice is all up to you.
Any of these books on your favorites list? How do you practice and cultivate a growth mindset?
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